insignificant comfort. take flight or make a bed. soft, but also not. alone intricate and mapped. detailed. useful, stubborn, ethereal. belonging but also set free...
{original works unless source cited}
sometimes i feel
__________
as though
i am meant to ride a horse
to work.
__________
as though
i was destined to stitch pearls
to the necklines of floorlength gowns
with trains a mile long.
__________
as though
i should be filling the bath
with water boiled on a cast iron stove
sprinkled with sage leaves
and jasmine blossoms.
__________
as though
the wool
which passes through my fingers
was to have been freshly sheared
and spun
by those same fingers
and knit into a fine textured garment
to keep you warm
out at sea.
__________
as though
there is another world
through which i have passed
where i let go of your hand
and lost you.
eleven blades of grass.
i know this
because i counted them
as i was waiting
for something to happen
that may never happen.
come home to yourself
may all that is unforgiven in you
be released.
may your fears yield
their deepest tranquilities.
may all that is unlied in you
blossom into a future
graced with love.
{source unknown}
the pace.
it has always been hard to keep
just in line with the others
ahead of some, behind some
between those spaces
is alone
is meditation
is longing
is freedom
is sensory overload
is a wide and wondrous view
is mine
whether i want it or not.
the routine of carefully placing his head in the crook of my arm
i always feel his heartbeat, but hear my own
at times it seems like a burden, thoughts of what i would rather be doing swim around
but finally i settle, as does he
his movements slow
his breathing lingers
sometimes i cant help but join him
other times i slip out quietly
remembering why there is nothing more i would rather be doing
in these moments
in the darkness
